On his Birthday?!
After hearing about a supposed rework, The Grand InquiZitor launched an investigation into what has to be the worst scandal in SWGOH history. After hacking CG’s one computer and viewing their Twitter records here is the truth nobody else is willing to tell you:
18 February 2019 Ahnoldt101 received a devastating tweet from his soulmate... Grievous.
Ahnoldt101 @ CG Why did you fire and nerf my soulmate?
Jar Jar @ Ahnoldt101 Yousa tellsa mesa what happened?
Ahnoldt101@ CG You fired and nerfed General Grievous on my birthday. That was not very nice. He is a very nice droid and it really makes me scared and angry that you would do something like this.
JarJar @ CG Did Mesa hear yousa banished Ahnoldt101’s SweetieMate?! Dissent gonna be bery messy! Me no Watchin.
Yoda @ Ahnoldt101 careful, you be. Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to Anger. Anger leads to Hate. Hate leads to sufferi... What on earth?! On Ahnoldt101’s birthday?! Scoundrels, they are. Fight them you must.
Old Ben @ Community May the force be with Ahnoldt101 who was blindsided by CG with no explanation after years of anticipation.
Ahnoldt101 @ Obi Wan Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope!
During our investigation The Grand InquiZitor reaches out to several SWGOH toons:
Stormtrooper 1: I “miss” Ahnoldt’s soulmate
Stormtrooper 2: I “miss” his soulmate too!
Stormtrooper 3: We all “miss” him”
Chewbacca: GGWWWRGHH!
Padme: I’m not having this baby until you tell me why you fired Ahnoldt101’s babe!
Princess Leia: you scoundrels will answer to the force for firing Ahnoldt101’s Honey with no explanation ON AHNOLDT’S BIRTHDAY! So sad how you treat Game Changers. And he has given you years of his life.
Official Statement from Capital Games Human Resources Department:
At Capital Games one of the most important policies is for all employees to share our one computer so that all staff have a turn. Unfortunately, Mr. Ahnoldt101’s Sweetheart had multiple complaints from coworkers regarding his frequent computer usage. Our company Fired him after multiple chances to comply. And as always, We’ll see you on the holotables!
Capital Games: You spike and whatever it is that you are saying... We hear you! After much positive feedback about firing Ahnoldt101’s one true love on his birthday we have decided to make this an ongoing tradition and fire/nerf more SWGOH toons on Game Changer’s birthdays. Be sure to wish Urzatron and Lobotomy’s a Happy Birthday next week!
MobileGamer @ Capital Games what’s the secret recipe in Darth Revan’s kit to make them destroy the META?
Community @ MobileGamer The tears of Ahnoldt101? Guessing what CG used used after they fired his Babe! On his birthday, after hundreds of days of faithful Game Changing.
Emperor Palpatine @ Ahnoldt101 Stop complaining. At least you weren’t thrown down a 280 mile shaft directly into the main reactor of the Death Star.
Community: CG probably threw Ahnoldt101’s Soulmate down the shaft too... right before they fired him!
Rose Tico: you think Ahnoldt has it bad...
The Grad InquiZitor reached out to General Grievous for comment but only received a response from his lawyer... Ahnoldt101 who was eating ice cream... on the couch... in his sweats... and crying like a manly girl:
Ahnoldt: “I am here to announce a $250 million Defamation lawsuit. My Honeybuns was wrongfully smeared and fired. Grievous tucks all his droid family into bed at night and reads them bedtime stories before kissing them goodnight on the cheek. My sweetheart would never hurt another droid. Especially for 8% of his Max health.”
*Meanwhile at Customer Service*
Capital Games customer service. How can I Help you today?
Hello? I would like to speak to Ahnoldt101’s darling? Oh Wait! I can’t because you fired the droid for no good reason. ON AHNOLDT’S BRITHDAY!!!
CG: Please Hold
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Not General Grievous cuz @ Capital Games Fired Him on Ahnoldt101’s Birthday.
#DroidLivesMatter
(Customer review)
Never had a bad experience with this game. I have been playing this awesome game for about a year now and I haven’t been able to put it down since. Great content with great developer support. It is challenging and just gets better and better the longer you keep playing.
(Reply) Ahnoldt101’s SoulMate was awesome... And then you fired him.
(Reply) you probably started playing the game when General Grievous was still there.
(Reply) It’s gone downhill since they fired Ahnoldt101’s Bae.
And there you have it. The Grand InquiZitor has uncovered the obvious facts behind the true story. Stay tuned for our next breaking story.
#JusticeForAhnoldt101 #Three Years
#NotMyGrievous
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Replies
Also that customer review is likely the.reason this discussion is still open...
Ya'll need to settle down and just enjoy the dumb humor. This is a game, no need to be serious all the time.