But it doesn't make sense!?!
I love this objection. Love it. And we see it retread almost every day, regarding either the same thing (OMG, why did the panel dodge my attack!!111?!?) or something new. The indignation, the insistence that objects are not behaving “properly” always makes me laugh. Love it.
Part of why I love it is that I always imagine answering the protest from within the fictional world that this game seeks to emulate. It kinda would go like this….
* * *
So, you walk into a bar. No, not really a bar, a cantina. Only this cantina is more like a casino. Think of it as a casino run by a crime syndicate of giant space slugs. That’s it, a criminal giant space slug casino. But there are not slot machines in this casino. Instead, there are these fancy holotables. They are, nonetheless, electronic gaming devices. Fancy space slot machines under a different skin.
With these holotables, you enlist holographic representations of fictional characters in order to do battle with other holographic representations of fictional characters. So it’s really less like a slot machine and more like chess. Only chess is a lot more complicated. Maybe checkers. But let’s go with chess for a moment. Each piece has rules. Knights jump three spaces one direction and one space over. You don’t need to worry about feeding their horses, or getting enough sleep, or realism, or indeed whether a mounted knight might reasonably jump clear over three people in order to land someplace – waves hand – over there. They are game pieces. With rules. Everyone follows the same rules, and you play the game.
And you slowly learn these rules. You pick your pieces, and over time you even get to improve on their abilities and powers and such. You grow attached to them. Feel invested, like these game pieces are your friends. When they do not succeed, automatically, every time, you begin to feel affronted. “But they’re mine! I’ve spent so much time with them! They should perform better!”
Before long, you begin to feel that they should be able to bend or even change the rules according to your logic. That the force of your reasoning should shape what they can or cannot do. They should just make sense! This is, of course, totally absurd. They are game pieces subject to rules, the same rules for everyone.
But that doesn’t matter.
One day you thus find yourself standing – irate, hands on hips, fuming – in front of the local crime lord / giant space slug running this cantina, literally sputtering with rage, and scream: “BUT IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE! Explain to me how the rancor can dodge with a door on it! And while you’re at it, I don’t believe the motivation of my favorite game piece. I do not think it is fully realized as a character, or accurately representational of the fictional character it is signifying! I demand, DEMAND, satisfaction!!!! Immediately! Or, so help me, I will speak meanly of your establishment and take my business elsewhere!!!”
I always like to imagine the giant criminal space slug then casually squashing this little rage pustule like a bug in order to make room for the next player.
It usually makes me giggle.
And as patently ridiculous as demanding that such game pieces "make sense" within that imaginary world may be, it's even more ridiculous to demand the same thing of the developers of a mobile app that simulates said imaginary world. But, please, by all means, keep at it. It's adorable.
Part of why I love it is that I always imagine answering the protest from within the fictional world that this game seeks to emulate. It kinda would go like this….
* * *
So, you walk into a bar. No, not really a bar, a cantina. Only this cantina is more like a casino. Think of it as a casino run by a crime syndicate of giant space slugs. That’s it, a criminal giant space slug casino. But there are not slot machines in this casino. Instead, there are these fancy holotables. They are, nonetheless, electronic gaming devices. Fancy space slot machines under a different skin.
With these holotables, you enlist holographic representations of fictional characters in order to do battle with other holographic representations of fictional characters. So it’s really less like a slot machine and more like chess. Only chess is a lot more complicated. Maybe checkers. But let’s go with chess for a moment. Each piece has rules. Knights jump three spaces one direction and one space over. You don’t need to worry about feeding their horses, or getting enough sleep, or realism, or indeed whether a mounted knight might reasonably jump clear over three people in order to land someplace – waves hand – over there. They are game pieces. With rules. Everyone follows the same rules, and you play the game.
And you slowly learn these rules. You pick your pieces, and over time you even get to improve on their abilities and powers and such. You grow attached to them. Feel invested, like these game pieces are your friends. When they do not succeed, automatically, every time, you begin to feel affronted. “But they’re mine! I’ve spent so much time with them! They should perform better!”
Before long, you begin to feel that they should be able to bend or even change the rules according to your logic. That the force of your reasoning should shape what they can or cannot do. They should just make sense! This is, of course, totally absurd. They are game pieces subject to rules, the same rules for everyone.
But that doesn’t matter.
One day you thus find yourself standing – irate, hands on hips, fuming – in front of the local crime lord / giant space slug running this cantina, literally sputtering with rage, and scream: “BUT IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE! Explain to me how the rancor can dodge with a door on it! And while you’re at it, I don’t believe the motivation of my favorite game piece. I do not think it is fully realized as a character, or accurately representational of the fictional character it is signifying! I demand, DEMAND, satisfaction!!!! Immediately! Or, so help me, I will speak meanly of your establishment and take my business elsewhere!!!”
I always like to imagine the giant criminal space slug then casually squashing this little rage pustule like a bug in order to make room for the next player.
It usually makes me giggle.
And as patently ridiculous as demanding that such game pieces "make sense" within that imaginary world may be, it's even more ridiculous to demand the same thing of the developers of a mobile app that simulates said imaginary world. But, please, by all means, keep at it. It's adorable.
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Replies
Does that mean that certain aspects of the game can't be complained about because they're silly? No.
If you don't like their threads then don't read them.
I do read them. And I do love them. And I very expressly asked for more of them. And I'm pretty sure I explained why I love them and want more of them.
But I'm sure you had something insightful to add that I perhaps missed...?
Ignore the troll.