Murder-Bears eat Porg Penguins. It's a fact. I wrote my xenozoology thesis on it. Like my name implies, I loaded porgs into a spring-powered launcher, and remotely fired the device from orbit. The device wasn't in orbit. I was. The device was in a blind set up on the sanctuary moon of Endor. I didn't want to set foot on the planet personally for safety reasons. Those murder-bears are dynamite. That's what undergrads are for. Anyways, in 45 separate trials, not including 21 misfires, the porg wound up on a tiny spear within minutes, and in tiny bear bellies within hours. During the course of this study, 2 undergrads were lost, and 3 missing, presumed safe. They will each receive .5 credit hours for their services regardless of their current whereabouts.
Why am I even talking about all this? Well, this study wouldn't have been possible without a generous research grant from SmokeSolo Blasters. Because of their generous contributions, I was able to undertake this project, complete my doctorate, and attain a cushy gig with the Coruscant Zoological Society. You can help create other success stories like this by joining SmokeSolo Blasters today!
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Why am I even talking about all this? Well, this study wouldn't have been possible without a generous research grant from SmokeSolo Blasters. Because of their generous contributions, I was able to undertake this project, complete my doctorate, and attain a cushy gig with the Coruscant Zoological Society. You can help create other success stories like this by joining SmokeSolo Blasters today!