Guild "Jedi Council" now recruiting.

Timitock
2844 posts Member
It has become too difficult to find a group without a guild, so I am starting one.
Every time I check the LFG panel, its always "guild only". How can I defeat the epic raid bosses alone? How else am I supposed to sell all these items I have been crafting? Once we get to 50 members, there will be a big in-game dance party, with door prizes. Bribery with in-game currency is encouraged. Make sure to comment on how I decorated the HQ.
We will gather by the reflecting pool and practice spamming emotes while bombarding everyone we see with guild invites.

The rules are simple:
I am in charge, and this will never change.
I will make more rules as I see fit.
If I dont like you, I will boot you, and there is no appeal.
If I decide I want some officers, I will have a contest and choose the winner.
You mush donate 10% of your earnings to the guild treasury.
I will decide how to spend treasury funds.

Our mission is simple:
Belittle anyone not in our guild.
Never admit any wrongdoing.
Actively harass anyone who disparages guilds.
Act like we know everything at any opportunity.
Whine that difficult tasks are impossible.
Complain that we are being treated unfairly.
Ask for things we did not earn.
Create drama and problems whenever possible.
Call for help when we create problems we cant handle alone.

The last point is the key. We will be talking a LOT of smack, but dont worry because you are safe behind your monitor, and if you get in over your head just call a guildie. There will be a pregenerated list of common lies and diversionary tactics to manipulate general opinion of us. So long as 3 of us are unanimous on an issue, and we pretend to be strangers, it will look legit.

Please send applications to: [email protected]

Replies

  • Is this a joke
  • Plague_Inc
    451 posts Member
    edited April 2016
    I enjoyed reading this... The fact that I thought you were serious for a second shows how bad guilds can be... That being said, this is not a solo game and the activity on the forum proves it. Just think about it. All the dumb/repeat questions can be asked in the guild chat and not here... It'll be nice.
  • The_Jam
    140 posts Member
    edited April 2016
    ITS A TRAP
    Post edited by Hozilla on
  • Timitock
    2844 posts Member
    Plague_Inc wrote: »
    I enjoyed reading this... The fact that I thought you were serious for a second shows how bad guilds can be... That being said, this is not a solo game and the activity on the forum proves it. Just think about it. All the dumb/repeat questions can be asked in the guild chat and not here... It'll be nice.

    Um, forum activity proves there is not enough to do in game.
    It is most definitely a solo game. You dont even need allies.
    People will still ask stupid repeat questions on the forums if there are guilds.

    We dont need to group. There is no commerce. Our characters can only interact in pvp by proxy. There is a community forum. We cant collect anything unique.

    Guilds are completely redundant and a waste of dev resources.

    Guilds are a great way for companies to charge us extra for things, btw.

  • Timitock
    2844 posts Member
    Is this a joke

    Nope. Completely serious.
  • @BentWookiee @FashionFett
    Close or move to off topic or guilds please.
    My name is cosmicturtle333, aka CT-333, aka Threes.
  • cosmicturtle333
    5004 posts Member
    edited April 2016
    OP, if you're going to make a ridiculous post like this then at least pick a novel name, the Jedi High Council guild wouldn't be very happy if other forum members confused this post with their guild.
    Post edited by Hozilla on
    My name is cosmicturtle333, aka CT-333, aka Threes.
  • Timitock
    2844 posts Member
    @BentWookiee @FashionFett
    Close or move to off topic or guilds please.


    Nice try, but guilds are definitely on topic.
    Please try to stay on topic in my thread.
    Better yet, just leave.
    Go start your own thread about how awesome guilds are or something.
  • Mo_liza
    786 posts Member
    OP, if you're going to make a ridiculous post like this then at least pick a novel name, the Jedi High Council guild wouldn't be very happy if other forum members confused this post with their guild.

    Some ideas for a name:
    Forum trollers
    Party poopers
    Arrogant ****

    Let's keep it civil.
  • Timitock
    2844 posts Member
    OP, if you're going to make a ridiculous post like this then at least pick a novel name, the Jedi High Council guild wouldn't be very happy if other forum members confused this post with their guild.

    Some ideas for a name:
    Forum trollers
    Party poopers
    Arrogant ****

    They might have a sense of humor, though...
  • Timitock
    2844 posts Member
    Thanks to whoever changed my title.
    I was not looking to offend or emulate any guild in particular.
  • Timitock
    2844 posts Member
    edited April 2016
    double post
  • Arube
    1026 posts Member
    Troll guild?
    The significance of Critical-Utopian Socialism and Communism bears an inverse relation to historical development.
  • Timitock
    2844 posts Member
    Arube wrote: »
    Troll guild?

    I am appalled at the accusation.

    We would never accept Trolls.
    We only have 8ft ceilings.
  • boing
  • Yudoka
    1274 posts Member
    Is this a joke

    This is not a joke. This is how all real guild function.
    They groaned, they stirred, they all uprose, Nor spoke, nor moved their eyes; It had been strange, even in a dream, To have seen those dead men rise.
  • Moved to off topic.
  • I'll join, but only if there are daily Door Giveaways.
    !doorgiveaway123123
    Proud and Belgian officer of [DTA] BIER DTA | official Lando Calrissian fanboy KappaPride
  • Moved to off topic.

    Cheers :)
    My name is cosmicturtle333, aka CT-333, aka Threes.
  • ChefHaze
    628 posts Member
    Timitock wrote: »
    It has become too difficult to find a group without a guild, so I am starting one.
    Every time I check the LFG panel, its always "guild only". How can I defeat the epic raid bosses alone? How else am I supposed to sell all these items I have been crafting? Once we get to 50 members, there will be a big in-game dance party, with door prizes. Bribery with in-game currency is encouraged. Make sure to comment on how I decorated the HQ.
    We will gather by the reflecting pool and practice spamming emotes while bombarding everyone we see with guild invites.

    The rules are simple:
    I am in charge, and this will never change.
    I will make more rules as I see fit.
    If I dont like you, I will boot you, and there is no appeal.
    If I decide I want some officers, I will have a contest and choose the winner.
    You mush donate 10% of your earnings to the guild treasury.
    I will decide how to spend treasury funds.

    Our mission is simple:
    Belittle anyone not in our guild.
    Never admit any wrongdoing.
    Actively harass anyone who disparages guilds.
    Act like we know everything at any opportunity.
    Whine that difficult tasks are impossible.
    Complain that we are being treated unfairly.
    Ask for things we did not earn.
    Create drama and problems whenever possible.
    Call for help when we create problems we cant handle alone.

    The last point is the key. We will be talking a LOT of smack, but dont worry because you are safe behind your monitor, and if you get in over your head just call a guildie. There will be a pregenerated list of common lies and diversionary tactics to manipulate general opinion of us. So long as 3 of us are unanimous on an issue, and we pretend to be strangers, it will look legit.

    Please send applications to: [email protected]

    Just because they moved it to off topic, doesn't mean it's not all true. This actually sums it up pretty well.
    But who knows, maybe it will be different this time.
  • Ur mum
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