It has become too difficult to find a group without a guild, so I am starting one.
Every time I check the LFG panel, its always "guild only". How can I defeat the epic raid bosses alone? How else am I supposed to sell all these items I have been crafting? Once we get to 50 members, there will be a big in-game dance party, with door prizes. Bribery with in-game currency is encouraged. Make sure to comment on how I decorated the HQ.
We will gather by the reflecting pool and practice spamming emotes while bombarding everyone we see with guild invites.
The rules are simple:
I am in charge, and this will never change.
I will make more rules as I see fit.
If I dont like you, I will boot you, and there is no appeal.
If I decide I want some officers, I will have a contest and choose the winner.
You mush donate 10% of your earnings to the guild treasury.
I will decide how to spend treasury funds.
Our mission is simple:
Belittle anyone not in our guild.
Never admit any wrongdoing.
Actively harass anyone who disparages guilds.
Act like we know everything at any opportunity.
Whine that difficult tasks are impossible.
Complain that we are being treated unfairly.
Ask for things we did not earn.
Create drama and problems whenever possible.
Call for help when we create problems we cant handle alone.
The last point is the key. We will be talking a LOT of smack, but dont worry because you are safe behind your monitor, and if you get in over your head just call a guildie. There will be a pregenerated list of common lies and diversionary tactics to manipulate general opinion of us. So long as 3 of us are unanimous on an issue, and we pretend to be strangers, it will look legit.
Please send applications to: [email protected]